


Stage Master

by frankiesin



Series: discontinued works [6]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hospitalization, M/M, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-12
Packaged: 2019-07-14 01:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16030298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankiesin/pseuds/frankiesin
Summary: Gilbert’s doing just fine until he’s not. And then he meets a quiet guy named Matthew, and a weird lady named Elizaveta, and somehow ends up running away to start over in the big city.





	Stage Master

 

**Chapter 1**

For Gilbert Beilschmidt, the world was a stage, and his life was a never-ending performance. Some people say that one must be happy with who they are before others will like them, but that wasn't the case for Gilbert Beilschmidt. He couldn't like himself until he got his standing ovation, which he always got. Why? Because Gilbert Beilschmidt is awesome.

But, Gilbert was not perfect. One time, he messed up. The world looked down upon him with a sneer on its face. "You're such a fake, Beilschmidt."

That's when Gilbert knew he needed to get his spotlight back. The spotlight, and the attention that came with it, began to wane away from Gilbert, and onto the next kid. The albino swore to get it back. Somehow, someway. He would do anything to get his spotlight back where it belonged. On him.

So he started slicing his wrists open. He had heard that kids who did that got attention, and it worked. For a while. At the beginning, people worried for him, and he got sympathy from the chicks. It was only temporary, as the spotlight soon drifted away from him. Gilbert Beilschmidt was once again in the dark, and he was lost.

The cutting got worse, it got deeper. It started moving up his arm, then onto both arms. Words started appearing in his flesh, words that he, Gilbert, had been calling the outcasts before he had been thrown from his spotlight. This got him noticed again, this time with professionals who wanted to help. And they were, just by putting Gilbert into the center of attention. But soon the cutting and the words weren't enough; there was always a more pressing case.

Gilbert's final move was the pain killers. When he woke up in the hospital after over-dosing, his father was there, shaking his head and looking disappointed. "I've tried everything I can for you, Gilbert, but none of it seems to be working. As soon as we leave, I'm taking you to the mental hospital."

Gilbert's initial reaction was no. No, he couldn't go. He could get back to his rightful place at the top with the cutting and pills on his record; a lot of kids did that, but being put in a crazy house? No fucking way. Once Gilbert got in, he might as well stay, because that would be the most popular Gilbert could ever become. No one wants to be friends with a crazy kid. There had to be another option.

There wasn't.

Gilbert's father drove him, sat with him as the albino was evaluated, and walked with him and the nurse to the teens' wing of the hospital. The blonde man said nothing as he left Gilbert, only succeeding in pissing off the albino more than he already was.

The nurse led Gilbert to a room where there was another boy sleeping in the second bed. Once the nurse had left him, Gilbert turned the lights on and stared at the fogged-over window. Behind him, the other boy stirred, the sudden light having had woke him up. Gilbert didn't notice. Even if he had, he wouldn't really care. All the albino wanted right now was to get back to his old life, before he screwed up and had to resort to cutting to get any attention.

The boy yawned. "Who are you?"

His voice was small, a whisper. Gilbert didn't hear it; he just walked back over to the light switch, turned the lights off, and fell back onto his bed. The mattress felt like rocks. Gilbert sighed and stared up at the ceiling. "This sucks already."

"I know." The voice was a bit louder now, as it was annoyed at being ignored. Gilbert heard it this time, and jolted upright. "What the hell?"

"Hi. I'm the ghost of Hetalia Mental Hospital."

"Oh that's just great. I'm rooming with a ghost." Gilbert rolled his eyes. "This place just got even less awesome than before."

"It's a mental hospital. What did you expect?" So the ghost was sarcastic. Great. "Five star hotel rooms with Jacuzzis?"

"That… would be the most awesome mental hospital ever. I would want to be in it." Gilbert smirked to himself. The ghost snorted. "Which is why this place is the way it is: sucky. Oh, and don't eat the eggs, they taste horrible. And the chicken can break a fork it's so hard."

"I don't eat chicken or eggs. I have a pet baby chick."

"My brother wants a pet whale."

"Well then maybe your brother should be in the crazy house instead of you, ghost-boy." Gilbert laughed. The ghost coughed softly. "Um… I'm not really a ghost."

"I knew that. I'm awesome, so I just know stuff like that."

"If you're so awesome, then why are you here?"

"Ouch." Gilbert lay back down, turning towards his roommate. "Okay, look. My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt the Most Awesome. You cannot question that. Ever. Verstehen?"

"Um… what?"

"Sorry, German." Gilbert smirked again. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." The boy nodded. "And I'm Matthew Williams… the most… invisible, I guess."

"Okay, Mattie. Let's see which of us can get out of the crazy house first. The Awesome me, or Matthew the ninja." Gilbert challenged the blonde, who nodded in the darkness. "Challenge accepted."

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 2**

Matthew Williams had actually been the winner of the challenge, but the two boys had exchanged cell phone numbers so that they could get back in contact once they had both been released from the hospital. As soon as Matthew had left, Gilbert had been alone, and it was different. He had grown used to the quiet Canadian's presence. Matthew had never talked to anyone besides Gilbert, and no one had ever come up to Matthew to talk to him while Gilbert had been in the hospital.

Gilbert made new mental hospital buddies, of course, but they felt different from Matthew. When he got back home, it wasn't any better. His father would barely look at him, and Ludwig hardly ever talked to Gilbert anymore. Not that the albino had been close to his family before, but now they seemed like strangers.

About a week after getting out of the mental hospital, Gilbert got into an argument with his father. Gilbert, after shoving the kitchen table over in a rage, stomped up to his room and packed his bags. He could tell when he wasn't wanted. The albino waited until his brother and father were asleep, and then left the house, trudging through the downpour.

He wasn't sure how long he had walked before he got to the bridge. The albino paused there, cracking his knuckles and leaning against the concrete siding. He needed somewhere to go, and the only person he felt he could trust at the moment was Matthew, so he dialed the Canadian's number, placing the phone to his ear. It rang twice before Matthew answered. "M-Matthew Williams speaking…"

"Hey, Mattie. I'm on the East Bridge. I ran away and I need somewhere to go now." Gilbert said, his red eye flicking around. Matthew sniffed on the other end of the phone. "I'm on East Bridge. Look to your left."

The albino did as he was told, and his blood red eyes widened as he recognized the thin frame of Matthew Williams perched on the edge of the bridge. Matthew's violet eyes were staring back at the albino. "Hi."

"Mattie!" Gilbert dropped his phone, racing over to the Canadian. Matthew hopped onto the sidewalk and ran towards his German friend, embracing the albino. Gilbert grinned. "This is awesome!"

"Why did you call me?" Matthew looked up at Gilbert and the albino noticed he had a cut on his face and there were tear streaks. "Don't you have other friends?"

"They don't really count." Gilbert didn't want to admit that all of his so-called friends had ditched him as soon as he had gotten back from the mental hospital. Apparently, no one wanted to be around Crazy Gilbo. Gilbert wasn't so sure if he wanted to be around Crazy Gilbo either. He wasn't even sure if he was Crazy Gilbo.

"Oh."

"That, and I knew that you of all people wouldn't freak out about me running away. You were the one to give me the idea, remember?" The two had been talking about their plans after they got out one night, and Matthew said he wanted to run away. The Canadian didn't know where he would go; just that it would be away from where he was now. Matthew was thinking about this, and he realized that if Gilbert was serious, then the Albino really would be leaving. Matthew wasn't going to let his only friend leave without him.

"If you're running away, then I'm coming with you." Matthew's violet eyes narrowed. Gilbert nodded. Awesome. Now I won't have to do this alone. But where would we go?"

"Hitch-hiking. That's what I was planning on doing anyway." Matthew shrugged, looking over his friend's shoulder to where the albino's stuff was getting soaked. "I should probably go home and get my own things…"

"So, to your house to get your stuff?" Gilbert asked, leading the Canadian back to where he had dropped his own bags in the excitement of seeing Matthew. Matthew nodded, looking down at the ground. Right now, he seemed to be the kid everyone else over-looked. Gilbert had never really noticed how thin Matthew was, but, with his figure slouched and the rain causing his clothes to stick to his frame, his shoulder blades stuck out awkwardly and his sweatshirt seemed to consume the rest of him.

Gilbert didn't say anything. He had learned from Matthew that the more you pushed the Canadian, the quieter and more removed he would become. Matthew shared his secrets when he was ready; Gilbert could wait.

The Canadian led Gilbert back into the suburbs, into a neighborhood filled with identical houses. Matthew cut through a forest, following a stream to a house with a fenced in backyard. The blonde peered over the fence, and then glanced back to where Gilbert was leaning against a tree. "Can you wait here?"

"Yeah, sure." Gilbert ran a hand through his wet hair, slicking it back in a style similar to his younger brother's. As he waited for the Canadian's return, pieces of hair fell back into his face. Gilbert just stared down at his soaked bag and cracked cell phone. Today was a bad day… night… to run away.

Matthew hopped back over the fence, gripping a duffel bag of his own. "Alright, let's go."

"Awesome." Gilbert picked his bag up and looked at his companion. "Where are we going to get a free ride to somewhere?"

"I don't know." Matthew shrugged and began trudging back through the forest. "I… I wasn't really planning to run away… not until you said you were. I was really planning to jump off of that bridge. That's why I was on it in the first place."

Gilbert's red eyes widened. "I thought everything was getting better!"

"Well, it's not. If anything, it's gotten worse." Matthew shook his head, the red cut on his face glinting in the moonlight. "The guys from school… the ones that beat me up because I'm gay… they did it again. But that wasn't the bad part. When I came home, I was a lot worse than now. My mom didn't notice, even though we were both in the kitchen when I was cleaning my wounds. I was running water over a cut on my arm, and she came over, turned the water off, and asked herself who had accidentally left the water on."

"Bitch." Gilbert muttered. Matthew deserved better than to be beaten into a pulp and ignored. Sure, Gilbert had been uncomfortable when Matthew first told him that he was gay. After all, they were rooming together. But the albino realized that Matthew was really awesome, genuinely awesome, and that he knew more about people because they didn't notice him.

"My parents never noticed me, nor did my brother. They still don't, really. The only time they noticed me was when I was walking around the house with a gun to my head, screaming that life would be better for everyone if I was dead." Whenever Matthew talked about his home life, he usually became sad. Not now. The frail blonde kid was fuming. "I would have kept going all night, all day, until they noticed me. I didn't want to die then, I just wanted my existence to be acknowledged. I was hoping one of them might take the gun and hug me and say how much they'd miss me if I was gone, but no. All they did was drop me off at the crazy house. I was in the waiting room for two days because no one noticed that I needed to be evaluated."

The two had gotten back to the main road. Matthew walked left, away from the bridge. Gilbert followed, thinking about how ridiculous his reason was compared to Matthew. Even when he wasn't in the spotlight, he was still noticed. Not as much, but it was more than Matthew. Gilbert shoved his hands in his pockets. "What about the bridge?"

"That was real. They wouldn't even miss me."

"I would miss you if you were dead." Gilbert wasn't sure where the words came from, but he had meant them. This kid had nothing but Gilbert, and the albino was going to be there for him. He had to; Matthew was too awesome to die alone.

Matthew glanced over his shoulder. "Thanks."

The two turned down a two-lane road. Trees were sticking out, their roots twisting under the road, crumbling the asphalt in their wake. There were no streetlights, so their path was completely dark, lit only by the occasional car. The rain slowed to a drizzle and soon stopped completely. The moon began to appear from between the vanishing clouds. Matthew looked up at the sky. "It's really pretty out here."

"I've never really looked, but yeah, it is." Gilbert turned his face skyward, and the two teens watched as the clouds parted like a curtain, revealing the stars winking down at them.

The effect was ruined by the sound of a car engine accelerating, and a twin pair of headlights closing in on Gilbert. Matthew noticed it first, and screamed at his companion. "GILBERT! Look out!"

Gilbert jumped up right as the car leapt at him. The albino found himself perched on the hood, adrenaline pulsing through his body as he stared into a pair of mossy green eyes. The roof of the car opened up, a young woman popping out of the hole. She was dressed like a modern day mobster, a wilting lily in her hair. She grinned at Matthew (still wide-eyed and terrified) and Gilbert (still on the hood of her car). "My name's Elizaveta! Want a ride?"

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 3**

Elizaveta didn't associate herself with much of anything, really. She wasn't a hipster, though she did have the black, thick-rimmed glasses of one, and she did only wear them because she liked how they looked on her. She dressed like a girl now, but previously, she had been much more masculine. She considered herself both genders, and would switch between the two whenever it so pleased her. She was also bi-sexual, and didn't really lean towards men or women. She could go either way.

Elizaveta also enjoyed traveling around in her bright red 1991 Honda prelude, along with all her sundry belongings she had garnered along the way. Her co-pilot had always been her cat, Tornado, who was black and white, and had been with Elizaveta ever since she started her trip. Tornado had been helpful many times, since the cat could actually pick locks.

The eccentric Hungarian had been making her way up the east coast when she had found the two teenage boys on the side of the road. She wasn't planning on running into the albino one, just to get as close as she could without hitting him. The stupid kid had decided it would be a great idea to jump on top of Elizaveta's car, possibly denting the hood.

The two boys were now crowded into her backseat, the albino snoring slightly as he dozed. The blonde was curled up in his seat with his head pressed against the window. Elizaveta glanced down at Tornado, who was curled up in a ball, but still watching her owner. Elizaveta reached down with one hand and scratched the cat between her ears. "It's still just you and me, Tornado. Those two don't count."

"Mew." Tornado closed her eyes and purred, the tip of her tail twitching slightly. Elizaveta continued to drive, searching for a parking deck to spend the night in. Elizaveta hated hotels, mainly because both times she had booked one, she had found someone else in the hotel room.

The first guy was alive. The second one was dead, and he smelled like rotting fish. Both had disturbed Elizaveta enough that she grabbed her bags and cat and left immediately. So now, she slept in parking decks. The Hungarian pulled into one, and, finding a spot that was satisfactory, she turned the car off and leaned back in her seat. "Well, that was fun. Goodnight, Tornado."

"Mew." The cat closed her eyes and began to purr softly.

<\----->

Elizaveta woke up first, and peered over at the two teens. She poked the blonde with her frying pan that she kept in the glove compartment. He shifted in his sleep, but didn't wake up, so she poked him harder. His violet eyes flickered open and he yawned. He looked at the sleeping albino, then at Elizaveta. The blonde blinked. "Where am I?"

"In my car. You and your friend…" Elizaveta poked the albino's leg, and he let out a grunt in his sleep. Elizaveta rolled her eyes. "Anyway, you and your friend ran away, or something, and asked me for a ride. So, I'm giving you one."

Elizaveta jabbed the albino again, the Canadian watching as she did so. He yawned again. "Gilbert can sleep through pretty much anything. I'll wake him up."

"Alright, go." Elizaveta motioned at the sleeping teen in her back seat. The blonde grabbed his friend and shook him until the albino's red eyes opened and he grabbed the Canadian's wrist. Realizing who it was, Gilbert released the Canadian and smirked. "Hey Mattie."

Elizaveta stroked her cat, the animal making soft purring sounds. Gilbert leaned forward. "You have a cat?"

"Yes, her name is Tornado." At the sound of her name, Tornado's ears slicked and she meowed. Elizaveta smiled. "She's actually quite intelligent; she can pick locks and use the internet from my iPhone."

"Impressive. Matthew said, reaching a finger out for Tornado to sniff. The cat licked him once before looking up at her owner and meowing impatiently. Elizaveta waved her hand at the cat, starting the car engine. "Yeah, yeah. I know. You're hungry. What do you two want for breakfast?"

"Pancakes!" Matthew grinned, ecstatic that he would finally be getting a say in the destination. It didn't matter to the Canadian that it was only breakfast and that he might get out-voted, he was just glad he got his say. Beside him, Gilbert nodded. "Pancakes sound awesome."

"Well then, to IHOP." Elizaveta drove them all to an IHOP, where they ordered their food and then used the restrooms to change into a new set of clothes. Changing in Elizaveta's tiny car would have been nearly impossible.

Matthew and Gilbert ended up sitting next to each other on one side of the booth, with Elizaveta on the other. Tornado had been forced (by the management at the IHOP) to remain in the car. The Hungarian was not pleased with this decision, but she knew that she would be able to take the cat the remains of her omelet when the three were finished.

Elizaveta watched the two boys, thinking about how cute they were together. Except, she wasn't actually sure whether or not the two were dating. If they weren't, she would have to fix that.

"Are you two dating?" She asked. Gilbert's red eyes flew open and Matthew turned red, ducking his head. The albino recovered first, shaking his head and laughing. "Me and Mattie? No way. We're friends, yeah, but I'm straight!"

'Not for long…' Elizaveta thought to herself, continuing to eat her pancakes.

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 4**

Matthew had been a bit startled by Elizaveta's comment. He had never had a boyfriend, hell, he'd never had a real friend before Gilbert, but he'd never expect anyone to ask if they were dating. When the brunette woman had asked, Matthew had been afraid she'd kick them out because she thought they were gay.

That, and he had actually been wondering what it would be like to have a boyfriend. The Canadian was beginning to wonder if his chauffeur could read minds.

The three were back in the car and Elizaveta was feeding Tornado omelet. Gilbert was turned around and trying to read the titles of some Japanese mangas behind his head. Matthew was switching between watching the albino and watching the brunette and her cat.

Gilbert turned back around and tapped Eliaveta's shoulder. "What are these?"

He was holding a few volumes of the manga in his hand. On the covers of both were half-naked men, one on top of the other. Elizaveta smiled. "Oh, that's just my yaoi collection… you and Mattie can look through it if you'd like too…"

The way she said it made Matthew a bit nervous, as he wasn't sure what this "yaoi" thing even was, but he didn't decline when Gilbert handed him one of the books. Elizaveta smirked. "They're in Japanese, so enjoy the pictures…"

Matthew began flipping through the book. There were two guys, and they were talking about something. Matthew couldn't read Japanese, so he was completely lost as to what the two men were speaking about. Matthew turned the page to see the two men making out, each loosing articles of clothing. Matthew's eyes widened and he turned bright red. "Oh my god! What is this?"

"Uh… R-18 yaoi doujinshi. Duh." Elizaveta rolled her eyes in the rearview mirror. Matthew, still red, turned to face the owner of the yaoi. "Why didn't you say it was gay porn?"

"Yaoi is gay porn. Don't you ever go out onto the internet in your spare time?" Elizaveta scratched Tornado between the ears, and the cat purred.

"Well, yeah, but I don't go look up porn!" Matthew tossed the book at Elizaveta, but missed and hit Tornado instead. The cat hissed and Matthew lowered his head. "Sorry."

"Wait, this is porn? Where are all the chicks?" Gilbert was currently flipping through his yaoi in an attempt to find a female, but to no avail. Elizaveta put the keys in the ignition and drove out of the parking lot, back onto the highway. "It's guy on guy porn, Gilbert. You won't find any girls."

"Some porn." Gilbert threw the yaoi over his shoulder, and Elizaveta glared at him as she continued to drive. Matthew really didn't want his two companions to get into a fight, especially since one could kick the other one out, so he blurted out a random question, hoping they would actually hear him. "Have you ever transported people before, Elizaveta?"

"Yep! I'm the taxi driver who will take you anywhere you want, as long as it's on this continent, and I'll do it for free!" Elizaveta changed lanes, glancing back at Matthew. "Speaking of which, where do you two want me to take you?"

Matthew looked at Gilbert. The Canadian would go where ever Gilbert went, and the albino had been the one to decide to run. He should be the one choosing the final destination. Gilbert looked over at Matthew and shrugged. "I dunno, where ever Mattie wants to go. I don't really care."

Matthew felt his cheeks grow warm. He wasn't expecting to have Gilbert let him choose where they would be going. Gilbert was the assertive, confident decision-maker. Not Matthew, he never made decisions. The Canadian's eyes flicked from Gilbert to Elizaveta, both of them having expectant looks on their faces. Mattie looked down at the floor, suddenly unable to meet Gilbert's ruby gaze. "You were the one who wanted to run away in the first place. You choose."

"You sure?"

"Yes… I hadn't even thought about the end destination, I just wanted to leave." Matthew nodded, his head still lowered.

"We could just continue North until we hit New York City… that okay with you, Mattie?" Gilbert pulled Matthew's chin up so that the two were eye level with each other. Matthew nodded weakly, not sure about the weird feeling in his chest when Gilbert had touched him.

For now, he would blame the fact that he was being watched by both of them, and he wasn't used to being noticed. And the yaoi stuff, he'd blame that too.

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 5**

Gilbert kept looking at Matthew as the three drove up the east coast. The Canadian was asleep, and Gilbert kept thinking that Matthew was really adorable when he slept. But Gilbert didn’t want to think that because Gilbert liked chicks and Matthew was not a chick.

Though, he did kind of look like one, with his slightly curvy, small frame, soft, shoulder-length blonde hair, and wide violet eyes. Matthew’s eyes were so full of sadness sometimes, and Gilbert wondered if he was the reason for the sadness. He _had_ pressured Matthew into leaving, after all.

Or had he? Matthew had decided to come on his own, right? So… maybe Gilbert shouldn’t feel guilty about bringing Matthew along.

Well, whether it was guilt or something else, Gilbert felt _something_ whenever he glanced over at Matthew’s sleeping form. It bothered the albino that he couldn’t figure out what this emotion was. Gilbert was _always_ in control of his emotions. It kept him in control, allowed him to keep his position at the top.

Gilbert turned away from Matthew, staring out the window. _Everything was so much easier before Matthew. It’s so much easier to pretend to be okay than show that I’m not._ Gilbert thought as the trees blew by. _If I hadn’t screwed up, I’d never be here… Damn it._

Gilbert, stop thinking. You look really pissed off when you do.” Elizaveta was smirking at him through the rear-view mirror. Gilbert just shrugged. “Sorry.”

“What’s bothering you so much, huh?” Why did this woman even care? She wasn’t Gilbert’s mother, and if she was (which would be weird as fuck) Gilbert still wouldn’t spill his thoughts to her. She wouldn’t get it. She was weird, she didn’t fit in. Like Matthew. Gilbert did fit in; he belonged with normal kids who got new cars and phones whenever they wanted to.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Don’t lie to me, Gilbert”. Elizaveta narrowed her eyes. “Liars piss me off.”

“ _You_ piss me off.” Gilbert glared back. He was not going to get one-upped by a wannabe hipster who had a lock-picking cat.

“That doesn’t even deserve a legitimate response.” Elizaveta rolled her eyes, speeding up and swerving between lanes. Gilbert narrowed his eyes. “Look, if you’re trying to kill me of something, stop. I don’t want Matthew to get hurt because of this.”

Suddenly, Elizaveta’s driving became normal (relatively so, she was still rather fast) and she grinned. “That’s great Gilbert. That’s really great.”

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. “Uh… okay?”

Beside him, Matthew yawned, having woken up from his nap. He notices Elizaveta grinning and turns to his albino friend, his expression slightly nervous. “Should we be worried for our lives?”

“I… don’t think so…” Gilbert was just as confused as Matthew, except he had been awake the whole time and the Canadian hadn’t. Gilbert looked at Elizaveta. “You aren’t trying to kill us anymore, right? Because that would be pretty unawesome. Just saying…”

“Oh no, trust me. You and your little Canadian friend are going to be just fine…” She was still smiling, and it was really starting to creep the two boys out. Matthew leaned over and whispered in Gilbert’s ear. “What’s worse than _killing_ someone?”

Gilbert shrugged. “No clue.”

Elizaveta looked back at her two passengers. The creepy smile was gone from her face, and now she just looked like she was watching something incredibly adorable. “You two are so cute together…”

Gilbert rolled his eyes and laughed, ignoring the fact that his face had gotten really warm then the Hungarian had said they were cute. “Seriously, Elizaveta, we _aren’t_ dating.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 6**

_Seriously, we aren’t dating._ Gilbert’s words were rolling around in Matthew’s head that night. Elizaveta and Gilbert were already asleep, but Matthew couldn’t get to sleep. He sighed, leaning back against the seat. _Why do those words… hurt, I guess… I don’t know… I don’t know_ what _I feel around Gilbert half of the time._

Matthew turned his head so that he was looking at the albino. The Canadian reached out and ran his fingertips through Gilbert’s bangs. “What are you thinking about, Gil?”

Gilbert muttered something incomprehensible in his sleep, shifting so that he was closer to Matthew. Matthew flushed, despite the fact that no one else in the car was awake. Matthew let out another sigh, his arms draped over the back seat, fingers grazing Gilbert’s hair. “I think I might like you, Gilbert…”

Matthew’s eyes widen and he gasps, covering his mouth with his hands. _Oh shit… I didn’t mean to say that out loud! Please, no one be awake right now…_

“Mew.” Matthew jumps out of his seat at the sound, nearly landing on top of the sleeping Gilbert next to him. Matthew scoots a safe distance away from the albino, calming himself down. _That could have gotten really awkward, really fast. Now… what was that sound?_ Matthew’s violet eyes scan the car, searching for the source of the noise.

“Mew.”

“Oh, it’s just you. Just the cat…” Matthew says, laughing quietly at himself. He reaches out and scratches Tornado’s head, between her ears. She purrs and Matthew can’t help but smile. “You startled me, you know.”

The cat just flicks her ears and leaps down so that she’s in the space between Matthew and Gilbert. Matthew continues to pet her once she’s settled herself in. “Do you think Gilbert likes me back, Tornado?”

Tornado hums a purr, and Matthew decides to take that as a yes. He then yawns and leans back in his seat before falling asleep almost immediately.

<<<<>>>> 

When Matthew wakes up in the morning, he and Gilbert are leaned against each other and Tornado is perched on top of the stack of yaoi behind the back seats. Elizaveta is turned around and snapping pictures of the two teens leaned against each other. Matthew blinks a few times, pushing his askew glasses up his face. He glares at Elizaveta. “Stop that… it’s weird.”

“Stop what?” Elizaveta says, blinking wide in feigned innocence. Gilbert moves in his sleep so that he’s closer to Matthew, and Elizaveta gets another picture. “It’s not weird. It’s adorable.”

“Whatever. Can you please just help me get him off me? You’ve already gotten your pictures.” Matthew tries to move Gilbert away, but it’s ineffective. Matthew isn’t exactly strong. That, and Matthew’s afraid that if he does manage to get Gilbert off of him, he’ll end up shoving the other teen into the window. And Matthew doesn’t want that.

He just wants to get out of this rather awkward situation.

Preferably _before_ Gilbert wakes up.

“Why? You two seem pretty comfortable where you are.” Elizaveta grins even more as Matthew’s cheek redden. “Besides, I’m looking forward to seeing Gilbert’s reaction when he wakes up on you.”

Just then, Gilbert’s eyes flitter open, and he stares up at Matthew. “Mattie?”

“Yeah, hi. You’ve been using me as a pillow…” Matthew ducks his head as Gilbert blinks a few more times, his eyes moving from Matthew to Elizaveta, who is still snapping pictures. Gilbert rolls his eyes and sits up, finally getting off of Matthew. Freed, Matthew turns around and picks Tornado up off of the yaoi.

Elizaveta pouts. “Well, that was anti-climatic. I was hoping one of you would flip out, but apparently neither of you had a problem with that situation.”

 _Wait. Why would she want us to panic?_ Matthew tilts his head sideways, confused by the woman driving them. Gilbert just laughs, smirking at Elizaveta. “Hey, it’s not my fault Mattie makes a good pillow.”

Elizaveta smiles and turns around. She grabs two boxes from under the front seat and hands them to Gilbert and Matthew. Matthew takes his and raises an eyebrow. “Wait… is this Chinese?”

Gilbert opens his box as well. “You’re feeding us Chinese for breakfast? What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Just shut it and eat.” Elizaveta rolls her eyes, though Matthew can tell that she’s not very pissed off at them. She just drives off, back onto the highway and into day two of their trip up the country.

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 7**

Elizaveta was frustrated with the two teens in her back seat. It was obvious that they both liked each other (she had heard Matthew confess it the night before, not that she was planning on sharing that tidbit of information with either teen), and they both obviously cared deeply for each other (she didn’t know what had caused this, and it wasn’t her place to ask), so, really, they should be dating. But they aren’t. Gilbert had told Elizaveta this fact, twice, in the first day of their travels.

Part of Elizaveta can’t wait until they get to New York City so that she can get rid of the tension, but another part of her wants to just pull the car over and refuse to go on until Gilbert and Matthew have some cheesy love revelation. Or kiss, or something like that.

 _Playing match-maker should not be this hard…_ Elizaveta lets out a sigh, and Tornado mewls from the passenger seat. Elizaveta reaches out and rubs her cat’s back. “It’s okay, Tornado. I was just thinking… nothing’s wrong.”

“Do you think that we’ll get to New York by tonight or tomorrow morning?” Gilbert asks from the backseat. Elizaveta glances at the mile-marker sign as they pass. “We’re in Virginia… we’ll probably have to stop somewhere for the night. I don’t want to drop two kids off in a new city in the middle of the night. It just doesn’t sit right with me.”

Elizaveta has her morals. Also, she wants these two to have as much time together as she can give them. It will be more likely for them together if they are forced to be in the same space for a continued amount of time. And if all else fails, Elizaveta is not above using awkward date-not-date tactics.

Gilbert groans. “But New York City is best at night! That’s when all the lights are on, and it looks really awesome! Right, Mattie?”

“Uh… yeah. I guess.” Matthew pulls at the wayward curl at the front of his face. He’s blushing slightly, a result of the cute nickname Gilbert just called him. Or, it could be that Gilbert is touching his shoulder. Gilbert takes his hand off, but it had already lingered too long to count under the _just_ _friends_ column, another subtle thing Gilbert does that gives away the crush. Gilbert’s less comfortable about the whole thing, Elizaveta has noticed, whereas Matthew’s just not used to the attention and is very shy around Gilbert. Quite frankly, it’s adorable.

“Well…” Elizaveta does think that nighttime New York is more romantic, and better to set up two people in, but she still thinks that it would be a bad idea to leave the boys alone in a new city. “I guess, but you two have to promise that you’ll spend the night in the Prelude, just to keep me from flipping a shit about your safety.”

“Sure, mom.” Gilbert says, and smiles at Matthew, who smiles back, even though the comment was directed at Elizaveta. She’s not offended; Gilbert and Matthew are being cute again and that’s what’s important. She can get them together, all she needs is the final push.

She finds that push after they stop for lunch, while Gilbert is in the diner using the restroom and she and Matthew are waiting out by the car. Matthew is playing with his hair piece again, a pensive expression on his face. Elizaveta finishes feeding Tornado and leans over the Prelude. “Okay, out with it. The tension is killing me.”

“Why are you acting like Gilbert and I are… d-dating?” Matthew coils his hair around his finger, and Elizaveta wonders if the piece of hair is naturally curly or if Matthew just makes it that way by constantly twirling it around.

Elizaveta pushes her bangs out of her face. “Because, you like him, and he likes you, and I’m just trying to make it obvious.”

“You think Gilbert likes me?” Matthew’s violet eyes grow wide; he looks so hopeful. Elizaveta’s never seen him like that through the whole road trip. Matthew’s always looked sad, save for when Gilbert looks at him. If Gilbert hurts this kid, Elizaveta will most likely rip the teen’s throat out. Okay, maybe not his throat. Maybe just his testicles.

“Well, I’m pretty sure.” Elizaveta bites her lower lip. “You’d have to ask him to be sure… I know he wouldn’t tell me, but he seems to trust you and care a lot about you.”

“Oh…” Matthew continues curling his hair around his finger. Coil, uncoil, recoil. Coil, uncoil, recoil. It’s enough to drive a Hungarian nuts. Well, more than usual. Elizaveta isn’t exactly a textbook definition of… anything, really. But Elizaveta’s uniqueness isn’t important right now. Gilbert and Matthew’s soon to be relationship is important. So, when Gilbert makes his way back to where Elizaveta and Matthew are standing by the car, Elizaveta excuses herself, giving Matthew and Gilbert a chance alone.

She gives a thumbs-up and a reassuring grin to Matthew before going back inside the diner to idle around for a few minutes, or until she’s sure that Gilbert and Matthew will be making out (or at least kissing, come on) when she comes back out.

She sits at one of the tall tables, one by the window so that she can watch. Matthew’s back is to her, which is good. She already has confirmation that Matthew has feelings for Gilbert. It’s now time to pray to the gods above that Gilbert feels the same about Matthew. Gilbert looks at the ground and rubs the back of his neck. In Lebanon, rubbing the back of one’s neck is a sign of affection towards whoever one is conversing with. Except Gilbert isn’t Lebanese, and Elizaveta doubts that he knows the implications of what he’s doing at the moment.

Elizaveta wishes that she could hear what they are saying. The tension is killing her right now.

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 8**

Matthew looks nervous as Gilbert approaches, and Gilbert wonders if it’s because of something Elizaveta said. He wouldn’t be surprised if the woman had scared Matthew with whatever weird things she spent her free time doing. Gilbert quickens his pace as Elizaveta leaves to go back into the restaurant (to do what, he neither knows nor cares). He stands next to Matthew with angry red eyes fixed on the door, in protective best friend mode. Because that’s what Gilbert and Matthew have become: best friends. It explains why Gilbert feels so close to the Canadian, why he wants to keep Matthew close, and safe, once they get to New York City. The city is a huge place, full of people who don’t apologise for shit, and Gilbert isn’t going to let Matthew go off into that alone.

“H-hi Gilbert…” Matthew says, and his cheeks darken. Gilbert can’t figure out why; Matthew hasn’t done anything embarrassing. Gilbert shoots another angry glance at the door before focusing his attention on Matthew. “Hey Mattie. What did she say to you?”

Gilbert can’t help the defensive tone that slips out when he talks; Matthew’s one of the nicest people Gilbert’s met (and he’s met a lot of people), and he doesn’t deserve to be the world’s floor mat. Not Gilbert’s Matthew. Not while Gilbert’s around.

“She didn’t say anything, Gilbert.” Matthew sighs, impatient for once. It’s a surprise, one that catches Gilbert off-guard. He stutters out a “what” before Matthew continues. “We were talking… and I decided… I decided that I need to tell you something…”

“What? You can tell me anything, Mattie. The awesome me won’t say a word to anyone, feline or female.” Gilbert glances at the sleeping cat, wondering if Elizaveta managed to get a recording device on her cat and is currently sitting in the restaurant, listening to their every word.

Matthew smiles tentatively. “You have to promise not to freak out, though.”

“Promise.” Gilbert nods, and he notices Matthew take a deep breath. Gilbert rubs the back of his neck, his friend’s nervousness getting to him, too. Matthew bites his lip, hesitates, looks at the ground, then back up at Gilbert, violet eyes shining nervously. “Gilbert… I… I like you… a lot… and…”

Matthew’s eyes flash with a confidence Gilbert’s never seen the kid have before, and right then, in the moment between Matthew’s confession and the Canadian leaning towards Gilbert, Gilbert realises that “best friend” isn’t enough. So when Matthew squeezes his eyes shut and presses his lips against Gilbert’s, Gilbert closes his eyes and kisses Matthew back. Because you can’t be friends and kiss someone. Friendship doesn’t include kissing. The two teens part after a few seconds (it was a short kiss but a good one) and Gilbert grins at Matthew. “I like you too, Mattie. So now you get to be my awesome boyfriend.”

Matthew smiles and wraps his arms around Gilbert’s neck, hugging Gilbert and muttering “thank you” into his neck. Gilbert wraps his arms around Matthew’s waist and pulls his boyfriend (he never expected to be calling anyone that, but he’s happy to be doing so now) closer. Gilbert feels like the world is beneath his feet. He doesn’t need his stage anymore, not with Matthew Williams, the Most Invisible (and Most Awesome). Hell, Gilbert can include Elizaveta and Tornado the cat onto the list of Awesome People That Changed My Life, after Matthew, of course.

“ _Oh my god you two are the cutest you have no idea!_ ” Elizaveta’s yelling breaks the new couple apart. Matthew turns away from Gilbert as Elizaveta embraces them both in a hug, a huge grin on her face. “I’m so sorry for ruining the moment, but I couldn’t help it… you two were just being so adorable and I… you two are so cute!”

“Fantastic. Now, can we please breathe?” Gilbert chokes out, and Elizaveta releases Matthew and Gilbert, all three of them grinning. Elizaveta claps her hands together. “Well, good to know that this road trip wasn’t a waste. Now, how about I take you two lovebirds to your final destination?”

<<<<>>>> 

The city is gorgeous at night, just like Gilbert had predicted, and he and Matthew find themselves pressed against the windows of the Prelude as Elizaveta explains to them that she has a cousin here who can take them in until they’re old enough to get their own place. Gilbert’s only half-listening; he’s more interested in the new city and his new boyfriend beside him. When Elizaveta pulls over and lets them out, Gilbert grabs Matthew’s hand and his (Gilbert’s) wallet, and races down the street, Matthew laughing and trying to keep up with Gilbert. Gilbert has no idea where he’s going; he just drags Matthew into the first place he finds that looks like a good place to stop. It turns out to be a coffee shop, filled with people sipping their late night mochas. Gilbert turns to Matthew with a genuine smile on his face and asks. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure, why not.” Matthew says, and he and Gilbert get in line, still holding hands and smiling like idiots. Gilbert glances at Matthew once before they reach the counter, and he thinks to himself, _this is what life should be like. I don’t need to beg for Mattie’s attention, and he doesn’t need to beg for mine. We’ve found each other… and even though it was hell getting here, I’m glad we made it._

Gilbert doesn’t remember what kind of coffee they ordered, or if they ordered coffee at all. He just remembers that his first night in New York City, on his first date, with his first boyfriend, will forever be the best night of his life.

 

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 9**

_Matthew stretches out on the couch of his apartment, his legs swinging back and forth as his fingers graze across the keyboard. He keeps grinning down at the gold band on his finger, a constant reminder of the first person who ever noticed him. Said person is currently swearing in German as the door to their shared apartment slams on his foot. Matthew looks up from his laptop. “Hey, Gil.”_

_“Hey Mattie. This door is a bitch.” Gilbert points as the door with his thumb, a smirk on his face. He’s glad to be back to his fiancé after working at the local theatre. Gilbert’s always had a flair for the dramatic; it took an awkward, lonely boy that no one ever saw to show him how to use his talent correctly. Gilbert walks over to Matthew, tossing his coat into one of the chairs used to fill their apartment. He pulls Matthew in for a kiss, and the two fall on top of each other, onto the couch. Gilbert runs a hand through Matthew’s hair; it’s soft and silky and it has a magical power that makes Gilbert’s day better, no matter what he had to deal with._

_Matthew kisses Gilbert’s jaw. “You’re in a good mood. Any particular reason why?”_

_“Actually, yes. I found something today… or, rather, one of my coworkers showed it to me, and I remembered what it meant.” Gilbert is being cryptic about whatever it is that he found. Matthew comments on this, and Gilbert’s only reply is another kiss before he pulls Matthew by the arm, only pausing to let the Canadian slip on a pair of shoes before Gilbert drags Matthew out of the apartment and into New York City._

_They’ve been in the city for seven years, ever since the night of their first date. They’ve kept in touch with Elizaveta as best as they can (she said it was only fair, as she had been the one to get them together in the first place), but she wasn’t easy to find. Gilbert ended up with a job at a theatre, and wrote a few scripts of his own (with some help from Matthew, of course) between roles; Matthew switched between writing his fantasy novel series (another thing that Gilbert had inspired the blonde to do) and working in the bakery owned by Elizaveta’s cousin, Roderich. Roderich had to practically ban Gilbert from the store so that Matthew wouldn’t get distracted, but Gilbert still found ways to pester his boyfriend/fiancé at work. Matthew looked forward to seeing Gilbert, and the creative ways that Gilbert would use to get into the bakery to distract Matthew from doing his job were a constant amusement._

_They fly by the bakery now, Matthew concentrating on not tripping over his feet as Gilbert swerves him through the crowds. That’s how it’s always been: Gilbert dragging Matthew off into new adventures and Matthew enjoying every moment, even though he usually has no idea where Gilbert is taking him._

_Gilbert pauses outside a coffee shop, narrowing his eyes for a second before grinning and pulling Matthew into the shop. Matthew recognises it immediately; it’s the coffee shop where they had their first date. Matthew smiles as Gilbert leads him to a table in the corner. It’s not the same table from seven years ago, but the message is there. Matthew kisses Gilbert, their hands still entwined. “This is really nice, but why now?”_

_“Because… two reasons.” Gilbert motions for his fiancé to sit down, and Matthew does. Gilbert sits as well, still grinning. “One, it’s out anniversary. Seven years of us. Seven years of New York. And two, since we’re getting married next week, Elizaveta decided to come down here for a reunion. She’s…” Gilbert looks around the small shop, searching for their friend. “She’s creeping by the window. Hey Elizaveta.”_

_“Hey Gilbert! Hey Matthew!” Elizaveta grins, skipping over. She’s Tornado-less, as the cat had died a few years ago, while Elizaveta was on the west coast. Elizaveta hadn’t gotten a new pet, saying that the right companion would come to her in its own time. Elizaveta was dressed like a modern day hippie now, with her waist-length hair parted down the middle and held back by a flowered headband. She pulls her tan shawl off over her head and sits down in a stool she stole from an empty table. She glances from one man to the other, as though trying to read their relationship from a single look. “You two are doing well, I see…”_

_“What, are you a psychic now?” Gilbert smirks, raising his eyebrow. Elizaveta wiggles hers. “Perhaps I am, perhaps I’m not.”_

_“Very mysterious.” Matthew said, leaning towards Gilbert. Gilbert reached out and entwined Matthew’s hand with his own. It was Gilbert’s way of saying that he was with Matthew, and that he was on the Canadian’s side and he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Matthew appreciated that; not many people were always with Matthew. Actually, sad as it seemed, the two people at the table with him currently were the only people who were really there for Matthew. He was in love with one of them (Gilbert) and good friends with the other (Elizaveta)._

_Elizaveta smiled and pulled out a leather wallet with a feather dangling from it. “Do you two lovebirds want me to get you some coffee, or are we just going to sit here and clog up a table?”_

_“Coffee would be nice.” Matthew nodded. He asked for the maple cappuchino, and Gilbert asked for plain black coffee. Elizaveta nodded and went up to the counter to get the drinks. Gilbert leaned over the table and kissed Matthew on the lips. Matthew kissed back, placing his fingers on Gilbert’s cheek. Gilbert smiled into the kiss, trailing his hand up Matthew’s arm. Gilbert pulled back, and pressed a final peck to Matthew’s lips. “I love you, Mattie.”_

_“I love you too.” Matthew said. He’s happy, because every day with Gilbert makes him feel loved, accepted, and it’s something Matthew never had before he met Gilbert. Matthew leaned back. “You know, we would have never met if it hadn’t been for the sucky things that happened to us…”_

_“You’re right. We’re kind of lucky.” Gilbert had found his place in the world. He no longer felt the need to be accepted by everyone, because he’s got Matthew, and (whenever she’s in town) Elizaveta. Gilbert may be on stage for most of his job, but he doesn’t need to be the stage master of his life. Not anymore, now that he has something real to hold on to with Matthew._

<<<<>>>> 

“Gilbert. Gilbert, wake up.” A voice says. Gilbert’s eyelids flicker open, not sure when he had fallen asleep. He looks around the room he’s in. Everything is white, and there’s a steady beeping sound coming from somewhere near him. He’s in a bed, and he’s pretty sure that he’s wearing a hospital gown under these scratchy sheets. Gilbert raises his hand; there’s an IV tube coming out of it. “What… what happened to me?”

“You over-dosed.” The voice says. Gilbert turns to see who the voice is coming from. It’s his brother, Ludwig. Gilbert grins, because he hasn’t seen his baby brother in years. “Luddy! You’re here! Have you met Matthew yet?”

“Who’s Matthew?” Ludwig asks, confused.

That’s when it hits Gilbert. That’s when he realises that Ludwig still looks fourteen, and why his own voice is still awkward teenager. There was no Matthew. There was no Elizaveta, or Tornado, or running off to New York. That had all been a dream. Gilbert had created a different life in his head, he had created a happy ending in his head, but it wasn’t real. The only real thing was how far Gilbert had fallen. The albino put his head in his hands. “Where’s father?”

“He’s getting you signed into a hospital. Gilbert, you need help.”

But perhaps, perhaps the dream could still become reality. A small smile appeared on Gilbert’s covered face, and he muttered into his hands, “I know.”

 

 


End file.
